Aspen's Birth (#1) - That Is NOT My Birth Plan

Tuesday morning, September 15th, 2009. Hypnobirthing session to get labor going. 9 days past due date. Scheduled for induction the next day. Come home and make a Coffee Haagen-Dazs and 4 oz Castor Oil milkshake. Yum. I wonder if I will ever have Coffee Haagen-Dazs again. Go on a walk with my mom and sister. Half way through - ok, time to go home. Afternoon was spent either playing old school Nintendo Tetris or on the toilet cleansing my system. 4:25pm water breaks. Put on my Depends and continue to play Tetris and visit the toilet. Call the midwife to tell her that my water broke and that the color is clear. She says to call back when I can't talk through a contraction...ah...that is NOT my birth plan.

As most couples, we start timing my contractions immediately and because they are seemingly really intense and only two minutes a part I call the midwife back after an hour, as if I might be delivering soon. Arrive at the birth center to find out I am 3cm. Fantastic. This is NOT my birth plan.

I took a hypnobirthing course people. Don't you know that birth can be pain free? What a bunch of crap. This is NOT going to be fun. And my husband wants to get Chinese Food and have a nap? Are you kidding me? What is this, a Broadway show? Ok, let me try to regroup. Light the candles, diffuse the essential oils, listen to music, breathe, moan, and soak in the tub.

I recover ok and do pretty well up to about 6 or 7 cm. Until my midwife tells me that she is going to take a nap. An hour or so later, they offer me an injection of Stadol. I am at a Birth Center, so no epidural is available. I say yes because I can barely tolerate the pain and no one has given me any sense of where I am on this journey and how much longer it might last. It should kick in in 10 mins.

F**K! It's been 10 minutes and nothing. And 20 and on. F**k, f**k, F**k. Good thing it is the middle of the night or every woman walking into the Birth Center would be changing to a hospital birth. The shot gives me nothing. The midwife resurfaces after the f**ks quiet down. I am almost completely dilated and effaced except one area. She puts ice on the area and it thins out.

All of the sudden it's push time. I am on my back and feel the famed ring of fire sensation. His head finally makes its way down, but I'm not making much progress as it continues to move back up the canal. Pushing is no more fun or less painful than labor. They use oil, encourage me, and cheer me on.  I keep pushing, but the same result. Hubs is holding one leg, midwife the other. She keeps telling me not to breathe the way I am breathing. I'd like to kick both of them.

I think you need an episiotomy. Just get this baby out. Snip, push, here he is. Like a glass of champagne, Aspen is born at 4:25am. His breathing is slow from the injection that did NOTHING for me. First opportunity for mommy guilt. We are not in a hospital, so they call the NICU, give him the antidote, monitor his blood sugar, and hold some oxygen over his mouth. He's responds immediately and is just fine. The shock wears off that I actually just gave birth to a real live baby, we all cuddle in the queen size bed for the rest of the day, and leave that night getting home just in time for dinner.